poor, neglected livejournal.
i have decided to post, even though a while ago i believe i pledged to use the word "livejournal" to describe things that are dead. Example: myspace is sooo livejournal.
but i feel like that's a pathetic note to end my livejournal on.
well, maybe not "end" per se, but if i totally and completely abandon this journal forevs, yo, i'd rather go out on more of a not-so-untrue note than my last entry? good? yes? thanks.
so. where to begin.
i don't even know what exactly i'm trying to chronicle.
this year? school year, i mean. it's going to be decades before i can successfully think of a "year" as not being a school year.
i'm in a completely different place than i ever thought i would be when i started PPTP. this "year" has been...definitely the most interesting one i have ever had.
yes. definitely, i would say.
in a way that was entirely, entirely necessary.
which i'm thankful i can recognize now, as there was quite a while where i spent so much of my time being angry. i was like an anger-machine. a machine o' anger, if you will. i would like to formally thank all the people who put up with Machine O' Anger Kristin, and did not eject me from their lives. it's muchos appreciated.
but it's like we go through our lives thinking we know what we're worth, thinking that we value ourselves and like ourselves and blah blah blah blah, and then one day we realize the things we do are entirely contrary to that idea.
that sounds lame. but it's true, i guess.
i don't have it all together. i don't. not by a long shot. i'm a fucking actor, for god's sake, that's not how we roll. by definition, i'm kind of a mess. but a crazy, happy mess.
maybe it does make perfect sense. you risk being punched in the stomach over and over again because if you don't risk it, you're a vegetable. a fucking vegetable. and maybe you won't end up getting punched in the stomach over and over again, and whatever, maybe you will. and maybe you'll fall for a boy in your class and maybe he'll look at you like he honestly never wants to punch you in the stomach, ever. metaphorically speaking, of course. literally, he knows i could take him in a fight. zing!
but i'm genuinely excited for everything that is going to happen to me.
not that i have any sweet clue what that is.
my next year plans are here and there:
there is some stuff figured out in terms of shows, and the Fringe application has been submitted. beyond that...i might take some classes at Dal that i could transfer to a theatre degree once i tend to that, and then i might be able to start at second year York. or i might do NSCC's two year broadcast journalism program, or at least the first year of it. i don't know yet. we'll see.
there's a lot of things that could go down.
but i think it's gonna be okay.
it now seems i have written a short novel.
i'm an awfully ramblesome girl.
i don't even know if any of these things make sense. maybe i'll wake up in the morning when my eyes aren't so blurry from the computer screen and realize i sound like an after-school special and make this entry private.
either way, it's nice to have these things documented, right?
and with that, to bed i go.